it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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