Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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