He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
