I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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