i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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