just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
