so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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