This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
