Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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