I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
