getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
