it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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