dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
do nipples grow back?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
