she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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