i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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