At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just saw a hot homeless man
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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