can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
wow bdsm is so cute
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
