Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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