im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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