I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
