i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
