just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
