when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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