no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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