So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
