yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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