THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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