"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
