How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
