I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
