got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
