I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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