porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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