Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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