dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
