I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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