hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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