margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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