There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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