Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
