She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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