Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dick very happy bro
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
