You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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