my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
