He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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