He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
