I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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