Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
