Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
