So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
