I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
