I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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