seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
