Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize