And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
